News0607

The Club is delighted to announce that the anticipated signing of Striker Daniel Jordan has been completed. After growing interest in the player at the back of last season, the Geese held advanced negotiations at the start of this term resulting in the target man signing a two-year deal with the club.

Director of Football Tony Perry issued the following statement. “He is a tall lad, and obviously an aerial threat, but he can also hold the ball up and bring Midfielders into the game in advanced positions, Paul and I are both pleased that Daniel decided to be part of what we are trying to achieve here.”

“Jordi” participated in his first pre-season friendly Wednesday evening, playing the majority of the game and scoring twice. Pino Packer caught up the debutant after the game,

"I am very proud to come here and I think it is a great club," said Jordan. "The core of the team is very young and we can build for the long term. This is something which really attracted me to the club. I am still young and want to improve my game; I am looking forward to a successful season" 05.08.06

The Turnford Geese board was in turmoil last night as photographs surfaced revealing a secret meeting between Director of Football Tony Perry and current Portugal boss Luiz Felipe Scolari. Questions are being asked about the state of the relationship between Perry and Manager Paul Cully. After securing promotion from division six last season, it was thought that Cully’s future was secure at the club, however this latest exposure could prove differently.

This morning Pino Packer was at the Geese training lodge where the photo was allegedly taken, but both parties were unavailable for comment. The Geese continue to prepare for the start of the new season although there is now uncertainty regarding Paul Cully’s position, following recent events.

After commiting his future to Portugal and rejecting the offer to become Sven Goran Ericssons successor, it is thought that Scolari may now make a U-turn after hearing an advanced offer from Turnford Geese Director of football. 20.08.06

After only featuring briefly for the Geese last season, goalkeeper Rob Dodd has expressed his desire to stay and fight for a first team place at the start of a new campaign. Rob has shown full gratitude to Paul Cully for giving him a chance after his career was left in tatters back in ’91 when Dodd was suspended from the game. Whilst playing for Tottenham Hotspur’s school of excellence, Dodd became a real prospect to break into the reserve side. However after a knee injury sidelined the goalkeeper for six months, his chances were fading, so Dodd turned to performance-enhancing Oats.

Within weeks the knee injury had surpassed. With only the Oats to thank, Dodd converted his one-bedroom flat into an almighty Oat-churning production line and sold his self-branded healing oats to younger naïve academy players. After a string of super-human results, suspicions arose, and after an internal investigation Dodd was exposed and FIFA brandished him with a three-year ban.

After ditching the Oats, Dodd was able to put his career back on track, eventually signing for the Geese in 2006. In his latest interview Pino Packer revealed Dodd is to push Rob Cully every step of the way for the No1 Jersey and vowed never to return to a life of evil oats. 31.08.06

In recent weeks, Turnford Geese reporter Pino Packer has been subject to heavy criticism regarding the factual strength of his news stories. To answer his critics Pino brings you a Turnford Geese exclusive, paying tribute to one of the most influential and cult fans amongst us.

It was revealed in the late hours of Saturday night that Marco Neo is in training to become one of Britain’s top wrestlers. After an interest in the sport for many a year Marco knew that it was the right time for him to step into the ring. This news has delighted the players, staff and fellow fans of Turnford Geese. Everyone at the football club wishes Marco the best of luck. In coming weeks we will track Neo’s progress and hope to go and cheer on the athlete, who last season gave so much of his support to us. 17.09.06