brett

Name : Brett Norris
Age: 21
Position: RM/CM/CF
Nickname: Bert/Brettles
Hobbies: Watching Documentary’s on girls who have no face
Favourite Food: Elephant Dick and Dog Sauce
Occupation: Personal Trainer
Favourite Film/Actor: Dumb and Dumber/ Jim Carey. Hot Shots Part Deux, Debbie does Dallas, Flesh Gordon, Schindlers Fist, The girl with no face (documentary)
Bestest Cereal: Whale Penis and Dog Sauce
Tipple At Bar: A glass of tonic water, with a little bit of gin and a slice of lime, lady-boys
Chat-Up-Line: Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a face? I really fancy your under-age brother. Am I going to need to ‘wack out the towel?’, or did you do horse riding when you were younger?
Footballing Idol: Chris Waddle, Teddy Sheringham
Sexiest Woman On Earth: Mother Goose
Favourite Board Game: Naked twister with Mike and Mechanics
Favourite Computer Game: California games/ Sensible Soccer
Club History: Turnford Colts, Enfield Rangers, Cheshunt F.C, Waltham Abbey, East Herts, Hoddesdon F.C, Hoddesdon Youth (under 19’s), AS Hoddesdon’ 04, Turnford Geese

Look-Alike: Will Greenwood, Van Der Sar, Michael Dawson, Craig Norris, the guy ‘with the face’ from the Falklands War, Yao Ming, Morgan Freeman, Alan Cork, David Blunkett, Kofi Annan
Most Wonderful Animal: I have two, I just can’t choose. The 5 penis Arabian Panda and the blue whale eating hamster
Greatest Utensil: Disabled spoons, for those hard to reach places, women love them!!
What Scared You As A Child:Firstly, Paul Dodd go fist yourself!! When Bill Pratt handed out cases of dove soap to the players with non-grip shower gloves
What You Wanted To Be When You Grew Up:
Taller
Name Something You Could Do With A Dead Goose:
Become a necrophiliac
If Paul Dodd Had Two Sons, What Would You Name Them:I wouldn’t, I’d suffocate them at birth because no-one deserves a father like that. I mean who really wants a father who disrespects the legend that is MJ!!
Quote To Remember You By: “I just went to the toilet and didn’t wash my hands, because I’m a bloody bloke”