news0607a

It has been alleged that Tony Perry was willing to accept illegal payments as part of transfer deals. Evidence is being gathered after authorities secretly filmed Perry’s son, David, a football agent, admitting he had accepted illegal payments in deals involving Turnford Geese.

Turnford Geese Manager Paul Cully says freelance football agent David Perry offered him a cut of a player's fee that he tried to negotiate.

After playing for Turnford Geese last season, Perry switched careers and became a football agent at the turn of the year, using his link with the club to bring in new players. However these latest allegations put the latest signing of Richard Bates under scrutiny.

‘Batesy’ was signed two weeks ago from Broxbourne Athletic. Mr Perry denies offering or accepting any bungs, which are illegal payments made during transfer dealings.

This news comes just weeks after Portugal boss, Luis Philipe Scolari was seen in shocking photos taken from within The Director of Footballs boardroom. The relationship between Head Coach and Director looked back on track, but a lack of form of late could be a reflection of this latest ‘bung’ scandal at the club.

Tony Perry issued the following statement: "The matter is in the lawyer's hands and will be resolved by due process. I have instructed my lawyers to take the appropriate action. I am very angry at the lies told about me."

The FA takes any allegations of corruption in the game extremely seriously and will actively investigate the claims made. It is also thought that the previous signings of Peter Enefer and Simon Hoy will be investigated. 26.09.06

We are glad to announce that goalkeeper Rob Cully is back to full fitness after suffering from a reoccurring groin strain injury. Despite physio Graham Wicks’s expertise Cully was sidelined for over a month without signs of improvement and so decided to opt for a new-age remedy to speed up the healing process

Cully was flown to Singapore Zoological Gardens in which he was anesthetised and operated on by a team of surgical orang-utans. It is thought the procedure lasted just over two hours, and that the operation was ‘a complete success.’

Rob is pictured with his arm around chief surgeon ‘Faustino’ and second in

Turnford Geese would like to congratulate Paul and Craig Belsey on their father and son pig-racing Grand-Prix victory at the Arrowhead Ranch in the Lincolnshire Wolds.

The father and son pairing were crowned European champions for duplet pig riding and scored 120 hog-hog points and completed the course in just less than four hours. Despite their heroics Craig’s sibling Martin was branded a ‘chicken.’

Jenny was delighted with her boy’s victory, however disgusted at youngest son Martin when he pulled out the race deeming the challenge ‘too dangerous for my kind’.

His rebellious slur has seen him exiled by his family, who to which ‘Hog-racing’ goes back through the Belsey generations.

Both men jockeyed very bravely and broke away from the rest of the farrow by making continuously impressive change-overs. The team also kept good time by managing to minimise their time penalties in the pig-lane by only picking up three pig-oits for a Paul Belsey touchdown at the halfway stage. As Craig took the final leg and stormed through the chequered flag, the crowd roared and clapped their new champions. Both men stood with their family-crested flag wrapped around themselves, embraced in unity then swaggered through the colossal horde to sign autographs for the younglings.

Pino Packer was there in the Wolds at the finishing line to reflect on Craig’s contribution towards the father and son enterprise. “The victory is dedicated to Bobo who unfortunately lost his life in the horrendous Cadmore floods of ’97. Even though he was a dog and not a pig, dogs like pigs and pigs like dogs, I saw a film about it once.”

Paul added the following statement: “I am really proud of myself and butcher, and of course my hog ‘Jurrasic Park’ who went like a gooden in the last furlong. I am upset with Mart, but Bobo told me this would happen, he felt it in his water bowl – how ironic that water was to be the death of him.” 15.12.06