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After a free week, the Geese couldn’t ask for a more challenging fixture to return to when they were drawn against Premier Division side Spennytown in the third round of the Roy Bailey challenge cup. The Geese welcomed back Dan Jordan who had recovered from his broken nose, Simon Hoy who was fit again after his zombie-staircase whacker-whacker and Paul Dodd who was fit enough for a place on the bench. Unfortunately Chris Cedrone was only 25% fit, Chris Wicks was still red-hat-ridden and nobody from Graham Wicks’s ‘long-term’ injury list was any nearer playing again.

Paul Cully opted for a bit of five man midfield action, a positive formation change ensuring a solid link between the back four whilst providing service to Papa Jordan. The Geese started as they meant to go on, hunting the opposition down in pairings which forced long-balls and in turn were cut out by our superb centre-half organisation.

The ‘Underdogs’ competed for everything, working hard to win the second ball. Many free kick and long throw opportunities arose but were all missing an end product, a handful of headers all the wrong side of the crossbar, and one from Neal Dodd actually striking the wood-work.

On the stroke of half time a collision-bound clearance left Andy Perry winded and scuppered on the grass being sick like a bulimic teenager, yellow vomit was protruding from the hole above his chin and below his nose, a mouth I think it’s called. Tony Cedrone escorted the player off the field so he could be sick some more.

Fortunately the clearance forced a throw, which was mortared into the box by Matt Cully. The delivery was good; Richard Bates scrambled the ball over the line, scoring another important goal, producing form worthy of his ‘cult’ hero status.

At half time Dan Jordan was rested after his first forty-five minutes of football in over a month. He was replaced but top goal scorer Paul Dodd who went like for like in spearheading the Geese forward line Han-Solo. Within minutes of the re-start another Matt Cully throw caused problems for Spennytown, this time it was met by Paul Dodd whose chest control and reverse volley found the bottom corner. Turnford’s lead was doubled, Dodd making an impact so quickly, emphatically and importantly on the game.

Pressure mounted on Spennytown, most of the game being played in their half, when they had the ball their passing interplays were being broken down by hungry geese. A neat passing move down the left involved Hoy, Batesy and Enefer whose strike was parried by the keeper and finally struck home by Dodd again for his second and the Geese’s third.

At 3-0 the Geese were worth their lead, Spennytown went close with a shot that hit the upright, but in fairness Rob Dodd wasn’t the busier goalkeeper. Late on Matt ‘thirty-nine line’ Hully broke through but couldn’t make it four, and James Musk also pulled on the jersey as the game neared its conclusion. The game ended three-nil and the celebrations started, the force-field of fans congratulated each other. The supporters were the twelfth man today, the greatest support in Sunday league. It was also a pleasure to have League representative Fred Beer at the game, who hopefully enjoyed the cup tie as much as those around him.

It seems like a cliché but today everybody in a red shirt done exactly what was asked of them. It is hard to pick anyone out as the players were united and embodied the perfect team performance both mentally and physically. A special mention goes to Tony ‘tinsel’ Vullo who did indeed have a stonker, putting to one side the speculation of his re-kindled affair with a mysterious ginger lady and to the superb midfield three, who were ‘an almighty force’.

Touchline reporter Pino Packer caught up with jubilant Director of Football Tony Perry after the game, who had just put down Dave Enefer “Yee-ha Good old sons, today is the proudest moment to date in Turnford Geese Football Club history. I want to thank Paul Cully and Tony Cedrone today who tactically got it perfect, the players were excellent, what a good scalp.

After beating Broxbourne Athletic last week, the Geese went into their next home game full of confidence. Today’s visitors were White Bear United who also went into the game full of Beans, sitting nicely at the top end of the table. Unfortunately the pitch was still un-trimmed and churned like Rob Cully’s bed sheets after nights of Insomnia gazing at Tony Perry’s portrait above his sleeping carriage. But we won’t name the council officer in charge of pitch maintenance as we cannot afford any controversial expenditure. The squad was heavily plagued with injuries, Paul Paddington Dodd still out with collateral hamstring damage and Chris huggy Wicks’ suffering from a sore foot and warm red hat attacks. Simon Hoy omitted himself from the squad on Friday night after his banister stunt resulted in the drunken zombie plunging from a 10 foot staircase. Lucky to be alive, Simon escaped with a dislocated thumb and a blackened mincer.

The pom poor conditions reflected in the quality of the first half. Both teams adopted a ‘long ball’ game as it seemed to be the best form of attack. In short, the first period was uneventful except for a disallowed goal at either end, the injury of Chris Cedrone and the introduction of Jimmy Rupert Musk.

Both teams knew they had 45 minutes to win it, passion spilled over on numerous occasions as the game became more and more physical. White Bear broke the dead-lock after a clever passing move and finish gazumped Rob Super Ted Dodd. It would have been easy to lay down and die, but the Geese showed great spirit when a lofted ball into the box was met by Neal Dodd who was deemed to have been fouled by his marker, the referee awarding a penalty. In Pugsy Dodd’s absence, Craig Care Bear Norris was selected as penalty taker and made no mistake when his charmin strike was tucked into the bottom left hand corner.

As the game progressed, the outcome hung in the balance. It looked as if both teams were going to take a share of the spoils. Not content with a draw the Geese pushed on and created chances, the best of them fell to Martin Yogi big blue Belsey who biffo’d his shot wide with a Pooh effort. With minutes remaining a rebounded clearance fell to the feet of Wonder Musk. With no hesistation he Nookied the ball up and looped the keeper, the ball trickled in. In injury time the Geese soaked up late White Bear pressure, with Gummy Bear Bates pummeling a thunderwhacker from the half way strip. A hair-bear-bunch-raising strike, unluckily to not make it “three”.

The Game ended 2-1 to the Geese. Craig Norris shaded man of the match, but Batesy excelled up front covering much-loved ground.

Pino Packer (dressed as Jeremy the Sugar Puffs bear) interviewed match winner Jimbo Musk Musk at the end of the game. “It was hard for me ya know, I aint played for a long while, but im a Goose, and wen I play I don’t wanna make any Boo-Boo’s. Yeh you could say I was Goldilocks today, but it was a team effort. Who’s been sleeping in my bed?”