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The Geese lined up against Uniques on Sunday morning after a lively weekend spent celebrating Tony Vullo's Birthday. The Tank Engine's Birthday Bonanza was a special occasion and included a meet and greet session with Mr Cartwright and many discussions about Adamski Cas and his amazing schlong. Even Mr Cartwright got involved with the schlong stories and was heard speaking of "Adamo's amazing tackle" during PE in year 9.

Back to Sunday morning where The Geese lined up without the Turkey bound Jamie Feeley and Andros Perrygreeno whose injured back did not make it through the warm up. The starting 11 consisted of Safe Hands Rob Dodd between the sticks, Dave Armstrong, Neal Dodd, Christopher Wicks and Tony Vullo made up the back 4. In the middle of the park we began with Matt Cully, Petey Enefer, Chris Cedrone and Phil The Fireman Baker. Up top were Paul Simpson and Lee "Turn up early but forget his kit" Ellerbeck.

With the Geese ready to begin their challenge for another 3 points all that was missing were the opponents. The clock soon struck half past 10 and the referee already worrying about being late for his celebrity appearance at Sir Cliff Richard Court Retirement Home with Nick Knowles and the rest of the DIY SOS crew decided that a 15 minute deadline was the way to proceed. Just in the nick of time our opponents arrived and the match was set to kick off at 10:45. Skipper Neal the Seal of Dodds Ville the Third won the toss and the match was underway.

The first half was a scrappy affair mainly due to Uniques and their spoiler tactics. This resulted in many free kicks awarded to the Geese but none of these opportunities were converted into goals. Some chances of note included a Seagull Plumbing header which cleared the bar and a few Paul Simpson efforts which the Uniques goalkeeper managed to comfortably grasp in his mitts. At times in the first half it seemed as though things could boil over but the referee remained strong and so did Paul Simpson who would have ripped apart their centre back if he "touched him again".

Towards the end of the first half Uniques created a couple of chances of their own. They should have opened the scoring when a ball into the box found their front man completely free but his header whistled just wide when it looked easier to score. We all thought that Uniques were going to be awarded a penalty when Chris Wicks wiped out one of the strikers in the area only for the referee to turn away in disgust. A combination of an overreaction to the foul from the striker and the late kick off which to the annoyance of the ref delayed his autograph signing plans made up his mind and The Geese survived once more.

The half time flute was sounded and the players left the field at nil-nil. The Geese were disappointed with their first half display and Paul Cully had the job of raising the troops. The Beard made a few tactical changes bringing on Brett Norris to play up front with Ellers. This allowed Paulo Simpson to slip back into a central midfield position and Chris Cedrone to cause havoc on the left flank.

The half time team talk and tactical changes seemed to work wonders and The Geese came out of the blocks all guns blazing surely the deadlock would be broken soon. It was almost one nil to our feathery friends when the ball broke lose to Lee Ellerbeck in the box only for his effort to bounce back off of the post.

As The Geese began to dominate the game with their supreme football skills Uniques became more and more frustrated. A wild two footed lunge on Brett by the miniature Chimbonda left back angered the referee and a free kick was awarded. As the free kick was driven in up jumped the sparkling skipper Neal the Seal Dodd, he connected with the ball and managed to angle his header in between the goal keeper and the defender on the post to put his side 1 Neal up.

The score was soon to become 2 nil. A superb one-two between Ced and Petey split Uniques and Mr Enefer was able to put Lee Ellerbeck through on goal and a fantastic strike with the outside of his boot went in off of the post. The Geese deserved their two goal cushion. The score could so easily have become 3 nil when a fantastic surging Dave Armstrong solo run and cross effort found Lee Ellerbeck in the box only for the Uniques goalkeeper to pull of save of the century and finger tip the ball onto the post and then to safety.

From the clearance directly after - Up step Paul Simpson - The ball fell to him on the half way line he took one touch and if you were lucky enough to be pitch side watching you will never forget the moment that The Simpsonite rifled the ball into the top corner from over 60 yards. He then celebrated his wonder strike by throwing his beloved Geese shirt in the dirt and aproach Paul Cully telling him "That's why you signed me Gaffer". If you were unfortunate enough to miss the magic you can click on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcY43mne6CY

Paul Cully had to leave the festivities early and attend his Scuba Diving Navigation theory course but before he did he brought on Adamo Cas who almost made it 4 with the last attack of the game. His header nearly found the net and almost brought Adamski his first Geese goal. And that brings us to the end of the game. The Gaggle played brilliantly in the second half scoring 3 lovely goals and entertaining the fans with some super silky skills. A well deserved 3 nil victory to The Geese.

After the match our touchline reporter Pino Packer spoke to Doris Lemongrass a resident at Sir Cliff Richard Court Retirement Home - "ooooh i say, what a fantastic goal that was. I've had it up on that MyTube all day. What's his name that chap who scored? That's it Sampson..why could he not come round and sign autographs instead of that plasterer from DIY SOS?"

With an unexpected midweek rest courtesy of a Cheshunt (Wednesday) no show, the Geese travelled to Hertford - known to many from such epics as 'Goose pulls fat bird', 'Geese come dancing' and 'Wixo leads Geese to the burger van' - to face last year's Division 2 champions Great Eastern. Despite having won the home fixture 4-1, it was expected that on home turf, and with a recent upturn in results, Great Eastern would provide tougher opposition this time around.

The Geese were lifted with the return of mascot Rory, who, having been stolen from the pikeys in nearby Hoddesdon, had found refuge in the Hertford fair awaiting his team's visit. As Rory entertained the dressing room, Paul Simpson released a picture of his friend that might sign for the Geese next season - a Rock at the heart of the Geese defence he would be, apparently. As the team took to the pitch the glorious sunshine was enough for Jamie 'Berba' Feeley to show off a tan from his recent Turkish excursion, however Adamo was not so brave and opted for his trusty roll neck. With Rob having summoned Paul Cavill from his Camel cage at the fair, the Geese eventually enjoyed a 15 man squad for the first time since 1974.

As the game started, Great Eastern looked the brighter team with a handful of strong individuals through the centre, and the Geese were content to defend the opening exchanges, which saw a lot of effort from Great Eastern but with no real clear cut chances. After quarter of an hour, the centre midfield of Great Eastern in particular looked to have dropped gears to conserve energy, and as such the Geese began to get a foothold in the game. However, still with no clear cut chances for either team, a long ball from Dave the seagull tempted the Great Eastern centre half into a nod back to his own keeper, but a lack of awareness and power meant that Chris 'faster than a bullet' Cedrone was able to nip in and lob the goalkeeper, slicing it into the net to make it 0-1. Scrappy goal, scrappy game, but excellent awareness from the young Cedrone.

With the goal advantage the Geese looked composed, now playing the game in the oppositions half with Enefer pulling the strings and creating a few half chances that were not converted. Unfortunately, things were about to turn. A routine save for Rob Dodd allowed him to roll the ball out to Wixo, getting the ball down and playing as the big man has done all season. He passed to Neal who unfortunately could not stretch enough to get full control and the ball was stolen by the Great Eastern forward who rolled it into his colleague's path to make it 1-1. While the inquest started 15 minutes too early, the Geese were again caught napping after a long throw from Matt was cleared to start a Great Eastern counter attack. With the defence not concentrating, the forward ran through to shin his shot over Rob Dodd and into the net for 2-1. Very disappointing for the Geese after looking so comfortable.

In the remaining 10 minutes of the half the Geese never really regained their composure and spent the time on the back foot. In amongst the defending, a 4 minute horror show meant that the Geese went into half time with Paul (sprained ankle), Brett (twisted knee) and Ced (neck strain) all off of the pitch. With Paul not able to recover, Phil readied himself at half time and with the help of a Paul Cully team talk the Geese were ready to take on another 45 minutes.

Unfortunately, the instructions to tighten up and take our time in the search for an equaliser were not heeded and when a long channel ball down the right found the Great Eastern centre forward, a top class half volley into the far bottom corner beat both Neal and Rob, made it 3-1. The Geese brought on Jamie for Vullo and moved to a 3-5-2 formation in search of goals, but the reverse score line had shocked the Geese players who looked nothing like the team that had played so well a week before.

As the game wore on, a handful of Geese players began to make a difference which helped to create chances. The front three of Brett, Jamie and Lee were working hard and with Pete Enefer's [often solo] display causing the opposition problems, the Geese looked more threatening. In the last ten minutes a Dave Armstrong header that went a yard wide of the post, and a Jamie missed opportunity from a Ced cross represented the Geese's best chances of getting an unlikely point, but unfortunately it wasn't to be.

It was a downbeat day for the Geese; a lack of composure and at times a lack of effort meant that the performance was not up to the previous weeks efforts. But with some big games coming up, it's time to look forward to the season's close and push for a top half finish.