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This game would have been so different if played on the originally scheduled date as the geese were wounded for that encounter and only one man (sorry, person. I’m not a sexist unlike doddsy) saved us that day, the intolerable Jack Frost, and for that we thank thee.
Our thanks also goes to the ref that day who shared with us his lovely stories and reminded us just how interesting old people are! “I drove down to my brothers before I came here and had a lovely cup of tea”. I was fortunate enough to catch up with Pino Packer after the game who simply said “Ref, your potatoes taste like SHIT!!”
We save the biggest thanks ‘till last in this instance however, as we thank the New River Arms for making our first Geese Christmas a special one. The food was delicious especially the lamb shank and if you are the manager of the New River Arms reading this, it must be noted that we are all extremely pleased with the quality of your food and would love to eat there again if the opportunity arises. With regards to Neal Dodd, he is just a Jamaican born Carlton Palmer wanabee who doesn’t know what it’s like on the streets and has no reason to vent his frustrations at your selves as he simply does not have a cause to do so. I say this loud and clear, New River Arms manager we don’t want no refunds, we just want Neal to realise that he’s not Carlton Palmer and to come home, back home to Goff’s lane where he belongs.
And so we lead into the re-arranged fixture between Hadley ‘we have the 2 tallest men ever playing centre backs today’ Green and Turnford Geese. This is the story of that magical day….
It was a bitterly cold Sunday morning as per usual for this time of year, the sky was grey and Bill Pratt was still going around under a different name since leaving prison for charges relating to paedophilic behaviour. Oh what a man he was, my hero some would say, he loved me like a ‘special uncle’, this is our little secret he would whisper whilst handing me a freddo and soft drink with a smiley at the bottom. He made me feel like a 3 legged badger crossing the Rockies with nothing but a toothpick and watering can to hand. Oh how I long to feel like that again.
Moving swiftly on to the game, the geese came into this game after back to back defeats. Firstly losing to a bunch of inbred hooligans, then defeated for the first ever time in the league by a suspiciously different looking Broxbourne athletic side. Despite these two demoralising defeats, the geese managed to pick up their first piece of silverware since forming in August 2005 and this came in the shape of the ‘Champion of Champions Trophy’!!
It was evident on the morning of the tie that the Geese had a new found strength a new ‘fresh’ desire to put the past defeats behind them and bounce back with a professional performance, but would it happen? Into the changing rooms the geese went, Baywatch was blearing out and Bill Pratt still couldn’t prevent that dove soap slipping from his grasp! This was a massive game for the geese, motivational comments were constant between the gaggle, spirits were high and Paul Dodd was abseiling down from the seats in the changing rooms. Looking around the changing rooms before the game, there was only 1 difference; Dodds Cousin was in goal for the injured Rob Cully.
Onto the pitch and the warm-up was professionally led by the captain himself and it was clear to see from the outset that on this day the geese were a solid unit, prepared to give their all for each other apart from Belsey the sabre tooth tiger eating mongoose.
Paul Cully gathered the geese just before the game and gave tactical advice to the team and motivational words of cully wisdom. The game got underway and it was clear from the beginning that they were going to be a physical but fair side. With this said, the first half was a battle with their defence clearing most aerial advances, however this was not going to prevent the Geese from dominating Hadley. It was as if The Geese were the team in the higher division, they were controlling the game and created several good chances that ended in near misses, the first involving Matt Cully in a 1 on 1 situation, though was not able to beat the keeper on this occasion and it went out for a corner which Hadley dealt with. Then The Geese won a free-kick on the right, halfway between the 18-yard box and sideline and after a mini discussion between Cully and Brett, it was decided that Brett would take it on this occasion, which he took but just went over the back post. Then just minutes later a corner swung in by Cully met the head of Brett whose technique was world class but unfortunately failed to hit the target with the ball sailing just wide.
The Geese were still enjoying much of the possession and previous chances had bred confidence within the Geese even though they were having so many near misses and this was not about to change as a breakaway from top marksman Paul Dodd ended in his perfectly executed shot crashing against the bar with the keeper well beaten. The crowd were sensing that this might not be the Geese’s day but being the loyal, passionate supporters that they are really riffled the Geese’s feathers with shouts of encouragement and support which brought about a final push by The Geese before indulging in Sera’s half-time oranges. This final push created another 2 chances for Craig Norris, one from another well placed Cully corner, which fell to his feet but just cleared the bar from an acute angle and his second chance was from a free-kick, from some 30+ yards which once again just went over. The ref blew for half-time and The Geese at this stage could all be proud of their first half performances.
Half-time brought about encouraging words from Manager Cully and the overall message was to keep it tight at the back and pretty much do what you’re already doing. No changes at half-time and The Geese went into the second half with confidence aiming to build upon their first half performance, but could they prevail? Kick-Off and The Geese begin the second half showing that same vitality which was clear for all to see in the first half but then disaster struck as Chris Wicks was alleged to have handled the ball in the box, when actually he was just eating a Big Mac, Steak & Chips, American Burger, Mushrooms and Dave Perry’s Hot Dog. The ref wasn’t backing down from his decision to award an unjust penalty and from this their player slotted home to make it 1-0 literally within the first couple of minutes.
However, this did not phase The Mighty Geese formed the ‘flying V’, attacked Hadley and passed it out wide to Matt Cully whose precise cross found the head of the Sabre Tooth Tiger eating Mongoose aka Martin ‘Paulo’ Belsey – P A, P A U, P A U L, PAULO. 1-1, come on the Geese! This goal had sparked even more life and belief into The Geese who now surely believed that they could go on and win this game, but would they? Just minutes after the equaliser, another cracking cross from Matt Cully found the head of Meatloaf for 2-1 BUT WAIT shouted Scooby Doo, who is that really? Its Craig Norris ladies and Gentleman shouted Shaggy! So 2-1 and The Geese were rolling, the crowd were loving every minute and the 2 front men were tormenting their 8ft defenders and winning free kicks, right, left and centre mainly due to Terry Butchers inability to cope with Paul Dodd’s movement.
This inability to cope with Doddsy’s runs was to cost both himself and Hadley Green severely as he was not only brought down in the box but 2 of their players fell on top of him, dislocating his shoulder once more to the dismay of his supraspinatus, infraspinatus, teres major, and teres minor (aka the rotator cuff muscles)! Paul was taken to the side of the pitch where he tried to cope with the immense pain from his shoulder and discussions went on as to who should take the penalty and it was decided that Brett Norris was to step up and take the pressure penalty. He began his run up and slotted home the penalty to make it 3 – 1 and expressed his delight within his celebration but the goals were not to end there. Brett found himself in space around the centre circle and carried the ball forwards, Matt Cully waiting to his left but the defenders didn’t pressure him so he continued to carry the ball forwards noticing the keeper off his line and chipping him from all of 25 yards 4-1, celebrations were wild as he had undoubtedly scored the best goal ever, oh what a goal. Just incase you missed that goal here it is again…. Brett found himself in space around the centre circle and carried the ball forwards, Matt Cully waiting to his left but the defenders didn’t pressure him so he continued to carry the ball forwards noticing the keeper off his line and chipping him from all of 25 yards 4-1.
The game was now winding down and The Geese focused on defending and keeping it tight at the back, what a performance this had been by The Geese but they still weren’t finished as they won a corner on the right. Matt Cully put the cross in which bounced in the area before being placed home by Chris Wicks and with this goal he scored his 3rd goal in 2 games. What a return from injury this was for the Grinch man, finally able to show the Geese what he is all about. The final whistle was blown and the after game handshakes proceeded. The Hadley Green players knew that they had been well beaten on this day by a fantastic performance by The Geese, so they had no complaints and showed good sportsmanship as they left the pitch.
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